More than a year has passed...

It's been over a year since my last post and a crazy year at that, with great moments and some of life's realities. I like to write, but don't allow myself time to sit and put words together. It's therapeutic to put your thoughts onto paper...get's the creative juices flowing and releases your mind of the burdens that can become all too consuming.

I turned 50 this year and suddenly the things my dad used to say started to ring true. I still feel 17, but the guy in the mirror will argue that and win. We are now blessed only with the memories and previous works of so many people. Peter Faulk, Clarence Clemons, John Walker, Jani Lane, Bubba Smith, Amy Winehouse...this list is too long. A byproduct of aging. So is remembering everything that used to be recalled with no effort.

I've lost some great friends and "parents" this past year. The younger brother of a former girlfriend. His fight was long and unfair. I remember him as a skinny, young kid that was more grown up then I was at the time. He grew to be an incredible man with a beautiful family that is now without this wise, humorous, loving and giving human being. Unfair in countless ways...

Then there are my other "Parents". Didn't matter who you were or where you came from, if you were in their house, you were well behaved...and you were always welcome. They were the parents of a friend that I have known since childhood. Dad went first, and rather suddenly. Mom went several weeks later from a variety of failures, but mostly from a broken heart. They were together for longer then I have been alive. I am still very saddened but can't imagine what their real children and grand children are going through. They are now resting peacefully in the same, well groomed landscape as my other Mom. A friend since kindergarten lost his Mom just over a year ago. I can still smell the cookies she baked as she removed them from the oven just as I arrived.

There were also some moments of defiance and triumph this past year. Breast cancer seems to rear it's ugly head more often these days, but it has been getting its ass kicked with a vengeance. I am so proud of the women in my circle that have been diagnosed with this special brand of 'C' word, but didn't, for one second, give it a chance to consume them. They all took this insidious disease by the roots and gave it no where to go but straight to hell. F*CK CANCER.

Although the circle of life contains some moments of sadness, there are always bright openings found within for opportunities of real living. Several trips back home for events around what has been described above were opportunity to tell stories with friends, old and new...and laugh more than the abdominal muscles wanted. Mini reunions with some of us that graduated high school together and turned 50 this year. Reunions with those of us that used to work together and could honestly call each other family. Oh, the laughter...

Finally, there was time to hang out with the friends I grew up with, that had a huge impact on who I am today, and that I am glad are still a part of my life. It's nice that time seems to stop when we are together, that we can be ourselves, that we can laugh, cry and act like we are still 17. Even if the mirror reflects otherwise.